Paint by Number

Some sketch offerings for you all ;D I’ll probably be posting some illustrations here as well in the future, all still to do only with this story however.

I am about to leave a very personal note here for you guys, and I realize some people just don’t care, and it will be long.

So if you’re a TL;DR person: I am taking an indeterminate somewhat hiatus for planning on this. Stuff keeps evolving and keeping me from continuing till they’re figured out, so I’m making it official XD I will still be working on pages, but they will only be completed once storylines are SECURELY in place. I will not be repeating my past mistakes with this. I’ll post notices when I plan to update. I understand a chaotic unexpected schedule like this could be frustrating to read, but I do hope some of you stick with me.

For those of you who would like to read a bit about me, and how I develop characters and such (aka why this is happening), then READ ON. And hello it’s lovely to meet you!

So if any of you have followed me here from my art blog or my deviantart, then you are aware of recent epiphanies in my life. If you are just here from some magical other place, I have recently come to terms with my transgender identity, and am finally pursuing changes in my life, specifically speaking gender reassignment.

That said, as you can imagine, I am on a huge path of self discovery.

So what does this have to do with PBN?

When I was just a kid, I made up my first character. He’s in this story in fact, to this day he is around, and aside from maturation, he is the same. If you frequent my deviantart, or have seen older versions, he’s probably the most recognizable character I have. I started drawing this boy continuously, because when I went to sleep at night, I always dreamt I was him. As a child, because of this and because of a lot of conflicting understandings and emotions I did not comprehend, I started continuously drawing him in an attempt to understand myself. Through his stories, that started in dreams, and through his situations, I lived out and became okay with the things I was feeling, emotions became more tangible.

After a while it became second nature, to the point I did not even understand what it was I was ventilating through him. Over the years I added more characters, but none of them were like this boy. I don’t even know how well calling him a ‘character’ really describes it. But every major change in my understanding of myself has 100% correlated with this character.

When I finally realized what was going on in my own head, another character was born. He was kind of special like that boy too. And as more of my understanding and levels of acceptance evolve (because I am still in the process of this difficult step) the more these two characters evolve with me. Through them even now I am starting to understand years of buried brushed off understandings about myself.

Given my situation, and currently being in the middle of one of the hugest epiphanies about onself anyone could have, I am taking the time to let these epiphanies play out naturally.

Along with them, because Mika and Jamie are a special brand of character so directly attached to this very part of my life, I am taking the time to let their story evolve with me. Because whether or not I like it, that is how it has always worked XD Unfortunately this has attributed to a lot of story changes in the past, but I can assure you, this is it’s final resting place. The only questionable part is what will happen from here, but whatever it is, this story will play out, and this comic will continue and come to a close.

I will only work on these pages when things are securely in place. There will be no set updating time here. I will post a notice when I’m planning to, but I can’t say when these posts will come, it could be days or weeks or months. I can promise however, when they do, they will be works I am proud of, and works I have poured my soul into. I have literally spent the majority of my life on this, and it’s about time I just let it flow :)